Thursday, January 31, 2008

Oh Dear

I realize this is two rants in a row, but for some reason my crab-o-meter is over the edge lately. I don't know why, but I think I anticipated going from public transportation to driving would ease my tension and irritation towards the general populace.

I should've known better.

Dear MN Vehicular Users:

1) Your SUV is NOT a compact car. I don't care how short and cute it is, you cannot park in the compact car space. Stop being delusional.

2) Mr. Man with the Dodge Ram who parked across in TWO parking spaces, 10 feet from the door on a 40 below windchill day. Go directly to hell. Do not pass go, do NOT collect $100.

3) Mr. Minivan who ran a red left-hand turn light in a left hand turn lane. But, instead of turning left, he went straight! Apparently, a big red arrow pointing left just doesn't reach some people at 8am. Oh yes sir, that WAS the angry mitten!

4) I realize the snow and copious amounts of hotdish probably makes judging the speed of an oncoming car difficult, but please, don't merge and then SLOW DOWN in front of me. I'm talking to you with the break lights.

5) Also, speaking of merging. Don't be a lazy ass. If I'm trying to merge from the on-ramp, take your car off cruise control for one tiny second to let me in.

6) Lastly, I realize that you're probably trying to grab a CD from floorboards, or a toothpick from your backseat, but the rest of us don't know this. Please don't break in the middle of the interstate for no good reason! It breaks up the flow of traffic and you are bound to get rear-ended. If you really need something from your purse that badly, pull over, or pull over, grab a hitchhiker and let THEM get it for you.

pantpantpant *end rant*

Honestly, I don't know if this is culture shock - or weather shock - but man, this really gets my goat in a way even I'M surprised at. I guess this serves to prove you can take the girl out of the east coast, but you can't take the east coast out of the girl.

Or maybe I should've just moved to warmer climate.
M is for Mass Transit Mayhem,


~moe~ said...

When my mom and I would visit my brother in Maryland she would sit with clenched fits of fear when he drove. I was fine.

When mom came to visit me (those 2 times in 7 years or something like that) and I would drive in the cities, she'd do the same thing.

But I was a good driver. All these things you're ranting about - I ranted about when I moved back here to S.D. I'm hoping it's just a culture shock, but since I was just there last weekend, I think it's still going on.

Good luck. Breathe deep! And keep your mittens on. :)

HM said...

Hi Meredith,

Glad to see your great sense of humor has survived the cold! I laughed hysterically at this post (and great use of some GRE words). Hope you are adjusting well to your new life and new job.