Wednesday, October 29, 2008

The Post That Wasn't

Driving back from my parent's farm this weekend (which, to my astonishment, took only 4 hours and 20 minutes. Now THAT's a tailwind!) I mulled over deep thoughts fit for blog posting.

I'm mid-journal for the moment, having finished up my most recent during my trip to East Timor, and I've yet to find a new one. This means I'm dangerously close to posting items that the general public at large might find, at worst, embarassing, at a best, egotistical. Regardless, there are many many things I'm not prepared to share with the internets. (As my mom reminded me this weekend, my 82 year old uncle reads this...)

So, the best I can do is tell you what I'm NOT going to write about:

1) Fall. I'm of two minds about this slow slide into winter. On the one hand, the rise in baked goods is yummy and heartwarming - but on the other, it sucks that I have to bake just to keep my apt warm until they turn on the heat full time. I love my fall wardrobe and those fleeting crisp fall mornings, but I feel myself sliding into despair when I think about the bitter, long, upcoming winter months. Ugh.

2) The election. Me = patriotic. I emplore everyone to please, go vote. In fact, Vote Obama.
But dear Lord, can it stop now?

3) Turns out, I'm a "thinking" person. This has been used twice now in two weeks, from two seperate, completely unrelated people, to describe me. I'm not sure what this means. Mostly, I think it means I'm difficult. Hm. I think I'm going to stop thinking about being a thinker.

4) Hot dog, if people don't say the darndest things. My personal favorite from last weekend was being asked if I was pregnant.

I was going to write a whole post about the little indignities you have to put up with as you get older, especially in the form of unwanted questions that measure you against some strange standard (Why aren't you married/divorced/pregnant/pregnant again?) It's like older people have a sixth sense for finding your sorriest most bruised melty mess in your life, jabbing a sharp point stick into it, ripping it out of your gut, holding it up to the light and saying "Nope, she's lacking." And then they kick you in the groin.

But then I thought, you know what? I could care less what most people think. I don't have any control over the nasty rude things they say - they're going to say them whether I put up a stink and make myself miserably angry and irritated about it, or not.

So, I laughed with the little old lady when I told her it wasn't ME, but my sister who is indeed, 8 months pregnant. Turns out, she's a little nearsighted. :)

5) Sex
6) Drugs
7) Rock and/or Roll
8) Zombie Pub Crawl. Which was terrific, by the way. I finally got the bloody handprint off my car.
9) My awesome job. I'm going to the Philippines in a week!
10) Why I Haven't Blogged in Like, 8 Years.

That is all I'm not going to talk about.
Aaaaaaand, I'm spent.

Thursday, October 02, 2008

Are We In A Relationship or WHAT?

I have to laugh; awhile back I got talked into signing up for a Facebook page (although, I wasn't entirely convinced; I signed up with a 'nom de plume') and now it's become a source of discussion between myself and the same person who talked me into it.

When I first signed up, I joked "I'll do this because we need to take our relationship to the next level: the Virtual Level." 

(yes yes, it's a lame joke...)

So anyway, I gamely signed up and made up all sorts of crazy things about myself. However, much to my chagrin, there was no "HMF" status (listen UP Facebook!), so I had to list myself as "In a Relationship" and send him the link.

Can you believe it? He DENIED me!

Seeing as my photo used to contain a very sweet picture him kissing me on the steps of the capitol, I was concerned that the members of my burgeoning online followers might be a bit...confused. (Ok ok, I wanted the validation, too!)

Since we've been together almost five years, we both understand it will take more than his virtual rejection to keep me from hanging around. But still - denied over the internets? That's harsh.

And plus, I'm not the only one who's thinking about this. I've had several conversations with friends who were either in the same boat (or worse, my friend who's "boyfriend" overseas lists his relationship status as "single" !) 

Then, there's the awkwardness of being "friended" by people whom you ran away to the big city to forget in the first place. Do they actually get a notification that you've denied their friendship? Is Val Lindemoen going to pull my hair again in Sunday School if I don't? 

Several news (or news-esque) sites have started talking about this very phenom of the Virtual Rejection.

The Lede (A NY Times blog) writes:

And then, there are all the ways wearing your personal life on your digital sleeve can bedevil you. One of the Facebook members quoted on described how the site's "in a relationship/not in a relationship" indication can do that:

"It's turned into this big thing, where if you just start dating someone you have to have this serious discussion: Should we change our Facebook status? Is it too soon? And then, if you break up, you have to change your status again and have that pathetic little broken heart next to your name on the (Facebook news) feed. No, thank you." 

So, I'm slowly coming around to my HMF's thinking. I used to think he was just ashamed to be with me (how's that for jumping to conclusions?) but now I think he's just got more common sense. I'm not worried anyway. Why would I want the virtual relationship, when I've got the real thing?