How Not to Get Over Jet Lag

1) Arrive home, clean up kitty litter/dried puke, unpack, refuse to shower.
2) Stay awake as long as possible, say, until 8pm.
3) Plan to go to work the very next day.
4) Own a cat that is hungry every morning at 4am, regardless of the state of her food bowl.
5) Attempt to placate cat with more food; end up overfeeding cat and searching for origin of vomit smell at 5am.
6) Try to go back to sleep.
7) Fail.
8) Go to work at 6am.
9) Leave work at 2pm.
10) Party with book club until 12 am.
11) 4:00 am, face wrath of hungry cat.
12) 5am = cat puke duty.
13) 10 am. Catch plane to New Mexico on 4 hours of sleep. Feel nautious.
14 ) Sleep on plane.
15) Arrive in New Mexico. Shop with friend.
16) Take 2 hour nap b/n 7-9pm
17) Party until 4am, at which point, you are wide awake and everyone else is drop dead tired.
18) Sleep until noon.
19) Go see movie, fall asleep at midnight.
20) Give up. Your body is so messed up at this point, you might as well go back to Pakistan.