Thursday, September 27, 2007

Seriously. Funny.

At the end of the day of crunching forecast revenue budgets, line item increases and invoice delays, I take a gander at this website, which makes me pretty much wet my pants.

Yes, my IQ has dropped since ending Gradute school. I don't care.
I iz seriously finding this site funny....

Monday, September 24, 2007

Note to Self.

Microwaves can catch on fire.

.......and they are awfully hard to clean afterwards.

Wednesday, September 19, 2007

Just Plain Silly

Aye-aye mateys! Ahoy!

It be International Talk Like a Pirate day. All ye landlubbers and skallywags should batton down the hatches, shine up ye peg legs and pass the grog.

(Me thinks it might be a time I put down me eyepatch and find me a hobby........Yar. Mebbe next year....)

Sunday, September 16, 2007

Travels, Here and There

Last weekend, my brother and his wife came to visit. We had so much fun checking out the monuments, touring the Capital, seeing the Declaration of Independence and eating at my favorite restaurant. By far, the highlight was visiting the life-long home of Thomas Jefferson, Monticello near Charlottesville VA. We made sure to stop at a few wineries on the way home, too.

After their visit, it was tough to go back to work. However, this week I found out I'll be traveling to Indonesia in the last half of October and most of November, so that perked things up a bit. I'm thinking I'll also take off a week after it's all said and done to do some personal traveling,as well. By my calculations, I'll be working 6 days a week, so I'll need it!

Tuesday, August 28, 2007

Summer Memories

There are few things these days that really highlight small town goodness: drive - in movie theatres, Dairy Queen marquee's, old time five and dimes where you can find anyting from thumbtacks to wedding cards - and county fairs.

In honor of the Great MN Get Together, I'm posting photos from my trip home, including the fabulous county fair. Behold, Summer! The midway, the opening dayparade, a hayride and of course, the 4-H foodstand.

Sigh. Why does Labor Day come so fast??




Monday, August 27, 2007

New Twist on an Old Dowry

My friend Mary is getting married in December. She told me recently she felt a bit guilty about going ring shopping with her fiance.

"I don't know," she fretted, "It just felt weird. I mean, not only does he marry me, but he has to buy a RING, too? What do I get him?!?"

"Mary," I said, "He gets YOU. Isn't that enough?"

I was relaying this conversation to my HMF over the weekend, when he brought up the dowry system.

"She's right," he said, "Traditionally it's the woman's family gives the man land or money to take their daughter off their hands, or to replace the work she would've done for them."

"Uh-uh," I countered, "It works the other way around, I'm sure of it. It's the MAN who has got to pay."

"How do you figure that?"

"Look, the woman brings an invaluable commodity into the marriage, allowing man to live on in perpetuity. The dowry is simply just a downpayment on the uterus. A non-refundable user fee."

"Oh? And what if they are unable to produce?"

"Too bad, sucker. You break it, you bought it."

And that was how I won my first argument with a lawyer.

Sunday, August 26, 2007

From Better to.....Awesome!

Cable!

I don't think I'm going to go to sleep tonight.....

Saturday, August 25, 2007

FINALLY

Yeah, ok, I know it's been like, four months since I moved in, but today I FINALLY got secure, reliable internet in my house.

You might just see a bit more of me on this blog now.....

Wednesday, August 15, 2007

THIS guy

Last Thursday I went to the greatest soccer / footie game of my life. Not ONLY was THIS GUY playing in DC, but I had a) a free ticket b) under the awning so it didn't downpour on us and c) United kicked his ass in front of a sold out stadium.

Then we sat in our car for two hours, trying to get home.

But it was totally worth it.

DC - UNITE!

Sunday, August 12, 2007

You Know You’ve Become a Local When….

You know at least three different zip codes of surrounding areas, off the top of your head

You no longer require a map to get to the grocery store – and you know all the nicknames for them (ie Soviet Safeway, etc).

In fact, in the face of 4th of July traffic, you find yourself using “back roads” to get across the Mall, 40 minutes before the fireworks (no small feat!)

You see a cockroach on the wall in your local pub and instead of leaving in disgust, you haggle for free drinks from the bartender.

Summer ends and you’re still here.

You know four out of five of the intersections announced on the morning traffic report.

Six lanes of traffic (one-way) no longer requires nerves of steel – you just honk and yell like everyone else.

You know what ‘inner loop’ and ‘outer loop’ refer to!

You’ve finally traded in your license and taken the old plates off your car - and got hit on by a DMV worker named Hakeem in the process.

People who stand on the left REALLY ANNOY you.

50% of the friends you had when you first moved here have left.

It doesn’t even dawn on you that you’re sweating. It’s August – of course you feel like a melty ball of wax!

You know the “El Norte” entrance.

Marion Barry starts to sound a tiny bit less ridiculous.

Thursday, August 02, 2007

(Get) Off My Chest

Two weeks ago I was sitting in a meeting with the President and CFO of my company, and some other random high ranking men in my division (all white men over a certain age), talking about an ongoing issue with one of the projects I manage.

At that point, my boss (a female) was in the country where the project is located, trying to sort things out. She had sent back a message that the project definitely needed back up, sooner rather than later, specifically from the finance and contracting office. One of the participants said something along the lines of "She's concerned this issue is going to blow up into a larger problem."

The CFO, shirt unbuttoned almost down to his navel, graying chest hair spilling about, snorted, "Well, you know XXXXX; she's emotional."

Wha?

What are you, living in 1950? Come here, let me zip that shirt right up over your lip, Chesty.

But no, here I was, surrounded by men more than twice my age, faced with obvious sexism and totally out of my league. What to say? I felt like I should've taken a stand but duuuuuude, what to say? I need my job. Instead, I bit my tongue so hard it almost fell off.

Then, tonight, I was riding my bike about - enjoying the 95 degree weather and minding my own business. I'm on a residential street and this red car packed with men, rolls up next to me. A short pug-faced guy hangs his head out the window and squeals something lewd in Spanish. I want to throw my helmut in his smug little acne scarred face, but all I do is stick out my tongue.

And then pray to god they don't turn around....

Come to think of it, I was in the grocery store a few weeks ago and this NASTY old man (with kids!) was openly watching me walk around the check out area. Like, his head did a double take, looked me up and down and leered at me. Leered! Next to the change machine! How romantic. I was like, go back to your poor wife, Gross Old Man.

Look, I'm not fooling myself. I'm no model. In fact, guys, you can do much better than me. So the argument of "you should be flattered" is a non-starter. In fact, all of this leads me to believe that these men just think women (random women) exist for them to ogle and leer and jeer and point and whistle and hoot and holler at like large pieces of jiggly meat put on this earth for their enjoyment.

I am so beyond making jokes at this point. Usually I just amuse myself by thinking up some witty comeback, dreaming of punching them in the face, or asking them how they think it would feel for their daughter's to be leered at all alone at the intersection of Dennis and Inwood.

Now, I don't want to think harshly of the fairer sex. I like men; I truly do! I've seen them do strong and nice wonderful things for women. But you know what? The worst part of it isn't feeling like some dude's nasty masturbation image, or written off for being 'emotional' (so what if I AM?).

No, the worst part isn't being able to do a damn thing about any of it.

Not My Baby OR Blogging Worlds Collide

Tuesday, July 31, 2007

HomeComing and Re-Identification

I've been accused of not keeping this blog updated very well as of late - well, there's a good reason - mostly because I still don't have internet at my apartment. Something about being too cheap to get it or some such...

Anyway, last week I had a whirlwind visit back to MN in which I....

...hung out with my sister at the Walker Art museum and saw the Picasso exhibit
...checked on the sculpture garden (yep, still there!)
,,,ate Punch pizza with my cousin Mary, her husband and her beautiful (and growing) baby girl
....took Kate to Victor's 1959 Cuban cafe for brunch and walked around Lake Calhoun
....saw my parents new lake cabin site
...visited with my aunt Muriel (and ate her cookies)
...took my cousin Ann and her babies out to pizza (hm, do I notice a trend here with cousins and pizza?)
...inspected her awesome garden
...hung out with my mom at the lake
...went fishing with my dad (and caught a bass)
...visited my uncle Neil and Aunt Nell and inspected their new garage
...had coffee with Megan's mom, as I normally do, and got caught up on their recent trip to London
...partied with Kaydi on a Tuesday night ("Don't mind my friend, she's from France." "Really? You have no accent!" "Yeah, my
mom is American...")
...and who can forget the dude who ate our nacho's and then said they were gross??
...went shopping with mom
...beat dad at Sequence
...hung out of the heat... 104 degrees!
...watched the Marshall County opening parade of the county fair...complete with manure spreader and the Marshall county
mounted posse...
...yelled at some teenage kids (get off my lawn!)
...avoided everyone I knew at the county fair (so what are you up to these days? where are you at? married? kids? why aren't
you fat like the rest of us??)
...finally got to meet Kaia and Will's baby, Evie Lu, in person. Cutest. baby. EVER!!!
...got a pedicure with my mom
...watched a storm front move across the plains, with my brother and sis-in-law
...napped in my car
...said hello and goodbye to my other cousin who is moving to germany for a year
...personally attended my college roommate at her wedding
...bought bananas
...visited with Julie and her husband Thomas, whom I haven't seen since being in their wedding last May
...fell into bed, every night, exhausted.

It was an excellent time- I will soon post pictures. It's a good thing too, because as of this weekend, I'll be officially stripped of my MN identity - I'm getting a new license and new plates for my car. Yes, that's right, I'm becoming - a Marylander (Maryland-ite? Maryland-onian?)

Sigh. It was a good run while it lasted!
M is for Maryland,
M.

Saturday, July 21, 2007

I Heart My Bike But My Bike Does Not Heart Me Back

In fact, I think it's safe to say, my bike might be out to kill me.

Friday evening, after a loooooong three weeks of work and before taking off for my well-deserved vacation back to the faterland (MN, that is), I took my bike out for a one last spin.

It was a nice ride, actually. I took it (her?) down to Rock Creek Park, spun around the horse barns, stopped by my friend Mary's house and was back in a bit under an hour.

However, on the last downhill, as I sailed into the parking lot of my apartment complex, something biffed - something biffed big time. I heard metal on metal, hit the breaks and pitched sideways, sliding halfway down the hill. I was doing a fairly hard left hand turn on a steep hill, so my guess is that the metal gear ground against the pavement.

I'm used to my fair share of bruised knees, but the shiner on my left leg proved that I'd deposited most of my skin on the asphalt. The right leg now has four deep gashes, as if I was attacked by a mountain lion, or my bike in fact, bit me with razor like teeth. (In fact, my brother in law suggests that I make THIS the story, rather than the infinitely lamer "I fell off my bike" story...)

Anyway, it looks really nasty. I surprised myself by having non-stick gauze (and gauze tape!) in my apartment, but later got a hold of much snazzier 3M clear industrial bandaids the size of my hand to cover it up. It hurts to bend my skinless knee, and I'm wondering what kind of wicked scars I'm going to have on my leg. I hope it's going to be pretty awesome.

I'm now on vacation and decided that this is probably a good thing for me and my bike. It will give us a little cooling off period, time to think and may remind my bike that without me, it just sits in a closet - and perhaps it ought to treat me a bit better. That is, no biting.

Sunday, July 08, 2007

Coffee Makes Me Slow Down (?)

I've written about this before - the slight pre-loneliness feel I get sometimes, especially on the weekends I'm left to my own devices. It's been six months since the last time I remember feeling this way, but it's come around again.

That's actually pretty good - once every six months or so, but still.

I went to bed last night, knowing I had absolutely nothing of consequence to do the next day (Do the dishes? Start that album from the long lost Japan photos I found under my bed while moving? Re-lace my shoes from the time the HMF I had to tie a shelf into my trunk and didn't have any rope?) Stuff that needs to get done, surely, but really, it pretty low on the totem pole.

Honestly, I think this is what community coffee shops are made for - those of us who have nothing better to do, crave a little human interaction (that is, being AROUND people, but not necessarily having to interact with them) and still haven't gotten it together enough to get internet hooked up to their apartments. Also, who didn't get up early enough to find a church.

So today, I find myself at yet another coffee shop (Mayorga Coffee Factory), avoiding the fact that I have nothing better to do, people watching and slowly getting caught up on all my favorite trashy websites (those bitches are funny, but not so Safe for Work!)

I even treated myself to a cup of iced coffee - a MEDIUM, not even a small! Ho ho, things are looking up. And, as I sip it and listen to the hippy lady and her electric guitar sing about how great it is to be single, I realize that these days are kind of nice. Strangely enough, coffee and coffee shops make me slow down. So what if I have nothing better to do? This is just fine. I think I'll just relax into this leather easy chair and take the afternoon as it comes.

Heck, later, I may even tackle a shoelace or two.

M is for Nothing Better to Do,
M.

Friday, July 06, 2007

I Heart My Bike

So, I totally heart my new bike. Earlier this week, I discovered almost a DIRECT route from my apartment building to my job on a beautiful, picturesque, nearly perfectly level, vehicle-free bike route. And it's only 4 miles from door to door.

In fact, even on the days when the front doorman tells me I can no longer take my bike out the front door (wha? because it LOOKS bad??) - even on the days when I get mercilessly caught in the middle of a power struggle and reemed out at work, it still makes me smile.

Still, at the end of the day, even though I'm tired, beaten, broken and downtrodden - thinking about getting to bike home makes me so happy. It's like I can zoom away from all my problems and let the endorphins kick in. I mean really, it's the cheapest Zoloft ever.

And I didn't even mind going in the service entrance!

Tuesday, July 03, 2007

Baku Photos

The outdoor roadside 'teahouse' Typical streetview in the Old Town - In the olden days, these boxes ensured the modesty of women who want to watch the street below. Now it's just a nice way to expand an otherwise cramped apartment!
Rugseller's market in the Old Town, near Maiden's Tower
This is not a parking lot - it's a crush of traffic. Note the pedestrians!
Skyline of downtown Baku from the Caspian sea boardwalk - note the construction cranes!


More photos

Laundry in Xinaliq A normal street...
Jafar serving "livers and such" at a roadside tea house.
Aybaniz and I in the treetop teahouse
One of the many mountain passes


Belated Photos

It's taken me a long time to post these, but I hope they've been worth the wait. Pit stop on the way to Xinaliq - a bus, a garbage truck and mosque and a mountain.
View of the surrounding valleys around Xinaliq
Sweet little boy!
View from the highest hill...
A very tiny town.




































































Saturday, June 16, 2007

Tiny Ninjas With a 5K and a New Bike!

Some highlights from the past few days....

First, Tiny Ninja theater showed up on the Millennium stage of the Kennedy Center this week to celebrate Shakespeare in Washington. If you have to wonder what ninjas are doing with Shakespeare, then obviously, you are not a connoisseur of ninjas like I am. I dragged my pals Ann, Angeli and Beth (and one disbeliever from work, Andy) along to watch - you guessed it - tiny plastic ninjas act out Romeo and Juliet. Two words: Hi-larious.

Also, on a side note, I found out that there is a Pirate bar in my new neighborhood (through a friend, not by stumblng around searching for a place to park my peg-leg.) In accordance with my ongoing obsession with the age old question of Pirates vs. Ninjas, I find myself drawn to show up there in a ninja costume, just to see what will happen.

More updates to follow on this front, I'm sure.

Anyway, the bigger news today is that I RAN MY FIRST 5K today! Woot-woot! Those of you who knew me growing up, you know that the closest I have ever come to being a runner is - well, not close at all, actually. I've by and large left it to the professionals. But, I put it down as a New Year's Resolution this year and have been "training" (ha!) since March. I even bought new shoes.

Well, the HMF and I finally decided to pony up the money and chose the Tim Harmon Hep C Memorial Fun run (I mean really, how much more random can you get?) to run this morning in Fairfax, Va. I finished in just under 37 minutes. Not bad for a non-runner! It was a good feeling to cross that line - even though my splits were well over 10 minute miles, I had 1) run the whole thing and 2) lived!

After that, we were in such a fitness groove that we drove around to a few REI's in search of a new bike. For my grad school graduation, the HMF promised to subsidize a large chunk towards the cost of a machine for me. Seeing as I bought my last one in college and have since moved on to longer rides, it has been time to upgrade for sometime now. After much research, discovering my inseem, and much learning on my part about what a "real" bike enthusiast must know about her machine, we ended up buying the Novara Big Buzz.

I am so psyched to go riding now! I got two new jersey's over Christmas and I've been dying to try them out on the roadways here. Finally perhaps my bike will inspire envy instead of pity. And maybe - just maybe after all this - I'll be able to fit into a new swimsuit, too :)